The unity in all things

In my previous post, i mentioned how do we perhaps wrongly associate our fictional identity with a person. Therefore, i wanted to detail out more upon why do we get caught up in this merry-go-round of different emotions and thereafter feel miserable in our quest to get rid of experiences that do not fit our personal framework of mind.
This personal framework of mind that we assume to be unique to ourselves is formed due to cultural inputs from parents, society and environment. In most of our life choices we clearly rationalize our decisions by thoughts that we call our own. But we never delve deeper into the origin of these thoughts. We often forget that the way we think is simply an outcome of this framework that develops over our lives. Whatever fits into it makes us feel comfortable and whatever doesn't creates conflict. If the conflict is powerful enough it ends up changing our framework and in turn our thinking.

Reflect on this from your own experience. Don't go by what i say.

Whatever, i said if it aligns with your mental framework you will accept calling your self as open or spiritual or even adventurous! Or if it is in direct conflict with your so called values you will simply close this page.

Reflect on this as well. 

We are climate activists, nationalists, anti-nationalists, realists, pragmatists, feminists at different points in time. These are just signals that your mind is catching from the environment and feeding that through your mental framework as your own.

But, i suppose you must have heard about this in one way or the other. What no one asks is why does this happen? I said earlier that we are nothing but the awareness of every experience. And the biggest attribute of awareness is the ability of being self-aware. We are always experiencing and also are completely aware of that experience at the same time. This single ability has differentiated us from rest of the living world. Our mind over thousand of years has thrived on this ability to separate us from the universe. It has created language and knowledge to go deeper into this separateness to conquer this world. 

If that was not enough we are created this division within ourselves. Yes, we think our experience is separate from our ego/self (not linguistic but psychological).  We tend to talk about our emotions as if we are separate from them. If i am in love that simply means i am love. If i experience fear it means i am fear. I am that!

You cannot get rid of fear by running away from it, by distracting your self or by finding the cause-effect. Because your premise is wrong. There is no question of getting rid of fear because you are fear! The more you invest in getting rid of it the more you will create this separation and build your ego.

Look at the people on the streets. Just for once pay attention to their faces. How fear has made them elusive, in conflict, closed and neurotic. They are experiencing even moments of happiness in fear!

Now look at love. What is love? It is not that you see in movies, experience in your relationships or selflessness (if such a thing exists!). What happens when you are in love? Go deeper in your experience. Do not just walk into the periphery of that experience. Be that! And you will find that love is simply that feeling of getting merged into that experience. You lose your false identity and get completely united in that feeling. That is why they say you fall in love. All the boundaries that you have artificially created for your self ( I am strong/weak/this and that) dissolves and you simply are united with that experience. That is your real nature. You lose yourself and become nothing and also everything at the same time.

Experience the unity in all things around you. Then a silent realization will take place in you. You will see that you are free. Not only that but you will discover that you were always free in every sense of the word.

 

I am only the awareness

As we humans evolved during thousands of years, we simply could not wrap our heads around the questions related to our own existence. We have always been fascinated with the questions related to birth, death, love and reality. The extraordinary intelligence that we garnered in the process helped us to build bridges, turn the course of huge water bodies, fight the food chain to be at the very top, fly across continents and beyond in the space but we never understood the basic thing about ourselves.

The deep melancholy that runs through our life in between moments of happiness when we experience pure love. Why are we so miserable sometimes and so sure of our self otherwise? Why do we seek newer experiences among acquisition of things and relationships? Why do we want more of something and less of another? Why do we want to run away from fear, sadness and anxiety and come closer to freedom, love and grace?

Since, I was a child I was somehow fascinated with these questions. My favorite place would always be a train station where I saw many different people and all their faces had a different story to tell. I used to wonder what they are feeling when they are sitting there watching time fly by their lives. I moved places, traveled to different places due to different reasons, but everywhere on this planet humans are the same. With same set of problems and same set of reasons for happiness. No one is free in its truest sense. Neither the wealth or the absence of it helps us to understand more about ourselves.

The one thing that is common to every experience is the awareness of it. I am always aware of what I am experiencing whether it is burning anger or if it is deepest desire or if it is extreme happiness, I am always aware of it. This awareness is in the same state ever since I was born and throughout my life it has the same attribute. Between two thoughts, I always experienced this peace, silence and space-like vibrant that seems to aware of whatever I am going through. No matter what the situation is, if you ask yourself the question – Are you aware? The answer is quick and always the same – Yes. This awareness does not have person like qualities – Age, gender, color, attitude, or personality. It is simply witnessing my entire life moving across it without any comment, judgement or interpretation. It is also witnessing my thoughts, actions, plans, and deepest feelings. Being aware is the most intimate thought or recognition I ever have. As a matter of fact, it is the only thing has been constant throughout my life. Everything else that I thought about me is always changing – My personality, the way I look at things and life, my body and the world. If I was all these things, then am I also a transient concept like these things? Whom do I call as “I” when I refer to myself? Who am I? Am I just a bundle of transient thoughts and body that will grow old and die?

If that is the case then why do sometimes I feel as if I was born today? Why do I not feel lost in the streets of Amsterdam when I am actually lost? Why do I feel new every time I feel cool breeze on my face when I ride on a bike? Why do I feel nothing/almost numb in deepest moments of sadness or happiness?

I am not who I think of myself. I am not a person who was born years ago, who is getting old and will die someday. I am only a witness of this person. I am only the awareness.