Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Happiness is only real when shared!
A young man leaves his middle class existence in pursuit of freedom from relationships and obligation. Giving up his home, family, all possessions but the few he carried on his back and donating all his savings to charity Christopher McCandless (Emile Hirsch) embarks on a journey throughout America. His eventual aim is to travel into Alaska, into the wild, to spend time with nature, with 'real' existence, away from the trappings of the modern world. In the 20 months leading up to his Great Alaskan Adventure his travels lead him on a path of self-discovery, to examine and appreciate the world around him and to reflect on and heal from his troubled childhood and parents' sordid and abusive relationship. When he reaches Alaska he finds he has been insufficiently prepared for the hardships to come. Despite making it through the winter his plan is ill-judged and prepares to return home in spring, only to find the stream he crossed in the snow has become an impassable raging torrent and that he is trapped. With no means of sustaining himself adequately he takes to eating berries and fauna, that he identifies using a book. Unfortunately, he awakes one morning to find that the berries he consumed the night before were in fact poisonous, and causes him to starve in his so sought after isolation. Throughout his epic journey the people he meets both influence and are influenced by the person he is and bring him to the eventual and tragic realisation that "Happiness is only real when shared".
Monday, December 27, 2010
Patience
See there is a simple rule with which every thing works. Its called demand and supply. Most of us dont say it out of concern that it may be blunt to hear. But as you grow this becomes almost evident in all the situations. Of course there are exceptions to common axioms. When i quoted an axiom which i read from a close one's portal, it made my friend to go into serious thinking mode. The quote was- all human actions are governed by self interests. We both racked our brains to find the exception. After much thinking it came out that its a mother's love for a child which is without any self interest. Since its unconditional.
But its also true that most of relationships are initiated on the basis of gratification of self iterests. Now a days every one is so materialistic that purusance of love, dreams and similar things have become a farce. Its all now ficiton. Some of us have infact said to me that i think on the lines of a ficitous fairy tale. Dreams and stuff are bygone; they are good in movies at the most. I simply become agitated when i ask someone if they saw this movie or read that novel and they say yes, then i ask so whats your take and they say nothing, they say it was just some fiction and fun. Fun, my ass.
But what if a relationship was started on a transactional motive and then down the line it became so important to someone that he/she saw it as life. He/she down the line began to imagine everything in it. Every stroke of brush made the same picture i.e. of his/her lover. What would this people call, attraction, commonality, infatuation.. No one has guts to call it love because they fear what about the motive. The real thing the rule of demand and supply, the rule of social conformity. But they dont see its an exception, its unconditional love.
So what has do be done, has to be done without fail. I m gonna not sit upon my ass to wait for destiny to decide my future. Am gonna actively do what am meant to do. Step by step. It will be a test. Ya a test for sure. When i have give 80 tests in engg alone and un countable others- completitive, non competitive, personal, professional. Many of then which are known only to me now.I'll also see what's decided for me....
Hosle woh hosle kya jo sitam se tut jayein.
for now its patience. When i have waited for certain things to happen for as long as 3 years this is no big deal. Hit me.
But its also true that most of relationships are initiated on the basis of gratification of self iterests. Now a days every one is so materialistic that purusance of love, dreams and similar things have become a farce. Its all now ficiton. Some of us have infact said to me that i think on the lines of a ficitous fairy tale. Dreams and stuff are bygone; they are good in movies at the most. I simply become agitated when i ask someone if they saw this movie or read that novel and they say yes, then i ask so whats your take and they say nothing, they say it was just some fiction and fun. Fun, my ass.
But what if a relationship was started on a transactional motive and then down the line it became so important to someone that he/she saw it as life. He/she down the line began to imagine everything in it. Every stroke of brush made the same picture i.e. of his/her lover. What would this people call, attraction, commonality, infatuation.. No one has guts to call it love because they fear what about the motive. The real thing the rule of demand and supply, the rule of social conformity. But they dont see its an exception, its unconditional love.
So what has do be done, has to be done without fail. I m gonna not sit upon my ass to wait for destiny to decide my future. Am gonna actively do what am meant to do. Step by step. It will be a test. Ya a test for sure. When i have give 80 tests in engg alone and un countable others- completitive, non competitive, personal, professional. Many of then which are known only to me now.I'll also see what's decided for me....
Hosle woh hosle kya jo sitam se tut jayein.
for now its patience. When i have waited for certain things to happen for as long as 3 years this is no big deal. Hit me.
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Before Sunrise
"Celine-I always feel this pressure of being a strong and independent icon of womanhood, and without making it look my whole life is revolving around some guy. But loving someone, and being loved means so much to me. We always make fun of it and stuff. But isn't everything we do in life a way to be loved a little more?"
This piece of text is the only reason the entire movie has a connection on a mass level and appeals most to me as a person. This is what we call genuine stuff and can only be 'earned' via true experience.
This piece of text is the only reason the entire movie has a connection on a mass level and appeals most to me as a person. This is what we call genuine stuff and can only be 'earned' via true experience.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
A seemingly dead black ant, a broken 1.5V motor and a 1 cent coin......
Its amazing to think about daily events even though there are similar stories per se eating, sleeping and so on but whats most striking are subtler things. I drive longer sometimes for hours with small breaks at seemingly unknown but other wise unknown places. I walk for a longer time mostly on dense pavements and greener areas. When i was small i had this cycle and i remember how it used to gain speed on roads which i was not allowed to go because of the traffic but i used to break the rule not for any specific reason nor for the curiousity. Just becuase i felt doing so and when i used to do that there were no specific emotions also. It wasnt that i had subdued my conscience but ya there were no inner voices. As if i m made to do this.
I remember cycling on long plains, dry and empty. Not a sign of tempering. Human tempering say foot lines or things. There were trees not big though. I used to cycle fast and then slow down resting my head on the handle to look at the patterns of the ground. It were some moments when i felt i dont live here, its difficult to muscle with the words to describe how i felt but it was like some divine purpose otherwise i would have deinitely got bored of it.
But i used to come there more often, i dint even brought my gang with which i used to cycle till late evenings after i was done with the homework and dinner and things. I liked the fact that only i knew this place. I still know that tree, a small tree then, it had voilet colur wild flowers or seeds beacuse when you break them it fetched this purple colour sap. There were a lot of them, down there. I had buried my steel box, we used to call- 'compas or compox' with some things in it.
What were those things in that box. Ya i rememeber. Its strange type of memory i have. I remember specificly events even if they are 20 yrs old! with great detail but cant rememeber dates and numbers. May i had made a committment that i wont by heart anything a long time ago. May be something else!
Any ways- There was a dead ant, a white ant who got stuck in fevicol with which i was making a home with thermocol. There were a lot of big black ants in my house at vidisha since it was flocked with 2 bigh gardens at the front and the end. So It got stuck in the fevicol and i first thought its fun then it was struggling a lot so i poured water to get it free but it wasnt moving. So i thought it would be dead.
Another thing was this small broken electric motor of 1.5 V capacity. I was gifted a car on some day i dont remember. I played with it for 3 days continuously, also before school and immediately after coming back to the time i would sleep with it.Then its front wheel got broken. I told that to evey one but no one took it seriously so i decided to fix it myself. I tried many things. But it just dint work out for me. I went to the shop asking if they keep a wheel for my car but they said i had to get a whole new car instead. I thought either shopkeepers were fool or they were making me one. I went with the second one as mom said children have to be careful if the shopkeepers as they thing we were more likely to be tricked.
So i decided after some thinking that how it might be to get rid of entire body of car and see whats making it run so fast. I fount a small motor and carefuly took it out of the chasis. Then checked it with a battery. It was good. I made newer stuff with it like fans, driller.. and also tried it on my teeths, it used to sound like huge crusher. It was fun untill i was caught by mom doing that. She said i could break my teeths with running shaft of the motor.She took it away with her and told me that she had thrown it away. Anyways after some pleading, shouting and emotional talk i got it back with the condition that i will play with it under her supervision. I said-" mom i m 7 now, other guys in the neighbourhood are already doin' stuff and all". She said- " No more excuses, if you want to continue to play, thats it". Actually with mom there is nothing like thats it. Whenever she said that it meant there was much more scope for negotiation. The trick is to wait for the right time. So i pretended to be playing in her presence and she got busy with television and then phone. I saw her laughing on the phone and bingo thats the time. I asked hurriedly to her. " Mom my friend is outside and i gotta go, we will play in the house next to our house". She said-" Ok go on but be sure that you dont put things on your teeths".
Job done!
I got back home with new attachment of a plastic fan with my motor. Soon it consumed the battery. But i had already exhausted 4 batteries. So i took them from watches- Alarm watches, Wall Watches and every thing that had batteries became victim. Then my little brother saw me engrossed me with the motor.
As a rule my brother will like to have what ever i am having because he thinks that there must be something 'good/better' in it. So he leaves his attention from his brand new toy gun and got fixated on my motor. I dint gave it to him. So what now he would go to mom and say that he wants it.
So as usual she comes to me and tell me to let my 'little' bother to let him play with my motor- My Discovery. I said what's in this motor, this stupid motor that he is not playing with his elegent nice gun.
I gave him and my mom 10 advantages from playing with the gun and 10 disadvantages from playing with my motor. I even included the 'hurting the teeth' reason. Guess what. He still wanted to go with the motor and my mom just follows. There i was looking at my little bro playing it not knowing how put it on but still enjoys, u know y, because i m jealous. And he makes the victory gestures. I am fumed to anger.
But i tell myself to relax. I am convinced that i can trick a 5 yr old. So i start innovating new games with his gun and try to make it look all the more interesting. He gets in to the web and i have my motor back.
After a long time that motor got broken and that too gets into that 'compas'. All these things. A seemingly dead big black ant , a broken 1.5 V motor and a one cent coin got placed in that steel box. That box got buried under that tree.
I remember cycling on long plains, dry and empty. Not a sign of tempering. Human tempering say foot lines or things. There were trees not big though. I used to cycle fast and then slow down resting my head on the handle to look at the patterns of the ground. It were some moments when i felt i dont live here, its difficult to muscle with the words to describe how i felt but it was like some divine purpose otherwise i would have deinitely got bored of it.
But i used to come there more often, i dint even brought my gang with which i used to cycle till late evenings after i was done with the homework and dinner and things. I liked the fact that only i knew this place. I still know that tree, a small tree then, it had voilet colur wild flowers or seeds beacuse when you break them it fetched this purple colour sap. There were a lot of them, down there. I had buried my steel box, we used to call- 'compas or compox' with some things in it.
What were those things in that box. Ya i rememeber. Its strange type of memory i have. I remember specificly events even if they are 20 yrs old! with great detail but cant rememeber dates and numbers. May i had made a committment that i wont by heart anything a long time ago. May be something else!
Any ways- There was a dead ant, a white ant who got stuck in fevicol with which i was making a home with thermocol. There were a lot of big black ants in my house at vidisha since it was flocked with 2 bigh gardens at the front and the end. So It got stuck in the fevicol and i first thought its fun then it was struggling a lot so i poured water to get it free but it wasnt moving. So i thought it would be dead.
Another thing was this small broken electric motor of 1.5 V capacity. I was gifted a car on some day i dont remember. I played with it for 3 days continuously, also before school and immediately after coming back to the time i would sleep with it.Then its front wheel got broken. I told that to evey one but no one took it seriously so i decided to fix it myself. I tried many things. But it just dint work out for me. I went to the shop asking if they keep a wheel for my car but they said i had to get a whole new car instead. I thought either shopkeepers were fool or they were making me one. I went with the second one as mom said children have to be careful if the shopkeepers as they thing we were more likely to be tricked.
So i decided after some thinking that how it might be to get rid of entire body of car and see whats making it run so fast. I fount a small motor and carefuly took it out of the chasis. Then checked it with a battery. It was good. I made newer stuff with it like fans, driller.. and also tried it on my teeths, it used to sound like huge crusher. It was fun untill i was caught by mom doing that. She said i could break my teeths with running shaft of the motor.She took it away with her and told me that she had thrown it away. Anyways after some pleading, shouting and emotional talk i got it back with the condition that i will play with it under her supervision. I said-" mom i m 7 now, other guys in the neighbourhood are already doin' stuff and all". She said- " No more excuses, if you want to continue to play, thats it". Actually with mom there is nothing like thats it. Whenever she said that it meant there was much more scope for negotiation. The trick is to wait for the right time. So i pretended to be playing in her presence and she got busy with television and then phone. I saw her laughing on the phone and bingo thats the time. I asked hurriedly to her. " Mom my friend is outside and i gotta go, we will play in the house next to our house". She said-" Ok go on but be sure that you dont put things on your teeths".
Job done!
I got back home with new attachment of a plastic fan with my motor. Soon it consumed the battery. But i had already exhausted 4 batteries. So i took them from watches- Alarm watches, Wall Watches and every thing that had batteries became victim. Then my little brother saw me engrossed me with the motor.
As a rule my brother will like to have what ever i am having because he thinks that there must be something 'good/better' in it. So he leaves his attention from his brand new toy gun and got fixated on my motor. I dint gave it to him. So what now he would go to mom and say that he wants it.
So as usual she comes to me and tell me to let my 'little' bother to let him play with my motor- My Discovery. I said what's in this motor, this stupid motor that he is not playing with his elegent nice gun.
I gave him and my mom 10 advantages from playing with the gun and 10 disadvantages from playing with my motor. I even included the 'hurting the teeth' reason. Guess what. He still wanted to go with the motor and my mom just follows. There i was looking at my little bro playing it not knowing how put it on but still enjoys, u know y, because i m jealous. And he makes the victory gestures. I am fumed to anger.
But i tell myself to relax. I am convinced that i can trick a 5 yr old. So i start innovating new games with his gun and try to make it look all the more interesting. He gets in to the web and i have my motor back.
After a long time that motor got broken and that too gets into that 'compas'. All these things. A seemingly dead big black ant , a broken 1.5 V motor and a one cent coin got placed in that steel box. That box got buried under that tree.
Trouble
Oh no, I see,
A spider web is tangled up with me,
And I lost my head,
The thought of all the stupid things I'd said.
Oh no, what's this?
A spider web, and I'm caught in the middle,
So I turn to run,
The thought of all the stupid things I've done,
And I never meant to cause you trouble,
I never meant to do you wrong,
And I, well if I ever caused you trouble,
And oh no, I never meant to do you harm.
Oh no, I see,
A spider web and it's me in the middle,
So I twist and turn,
Here am I in my little bubble,
Singing I, never meant to cause you trouble,
And I, never meant to do you wrong,
And I, well if I ever caused you trouble,
Oh, no I never meant to do you harm.
They spun a web for me,
They spun a web for me,
They spun a web for me.
A spider web is tangled up with me,
And I lost my head,
The thought of all the stupid things I'd said.
Oh no, what's this?
A spider web, and I'm caught in the middle,
So I turn to run,
The thought of all the stupid things I've done,
And I never meant to cause you trouble,
I never meant to do you wrong,
And I, well if I ever caused you trouble,
And oh no, I never meant to do you harm.
Oh no, I see,
A spider web and it's me in the middle,
So I twist and turn,
Here am I in my little bubble,
Singing I, never meant to cause you trouble,
And I, never meant to do you wrong,
And I, well if I ever caused you trouble,
Oh, no I never meant to do you harm.
They spun a web for me,
They spun a web for me,
They spun a web for me.
Monday, December 20, 2010
longing
Longing, in my mind, is when you have severe pangs for someone. You cannot wait for the day they come back. You constantly revisit every memory you have of them, hungry to experience their presence. Your body feels physically addicted in a way, it desperately pleads you to fill the void it experiences by getting this person back to you as soon as possible. Only then would that hole in you be complete.
But when you know everything still you cant do anything about it. Thats the problem. I know what has to be done but still its not done.
But when you know everything still you cant do anything about it. Thats the problem. I know what has to be done but still its not done.
Sunday, December 19, 2010
How am i supposed to heal if i cant feel time?
Memento is not a movie its a work of art. The intensity of monlogues is so huge that it cant be fitted in words one has to feel it to believe it. Here's one of the scene which connects me with the role of Guy Pearce like he's me and is speaking my mind.
"I don't even know how long she's been gone. It's like I've woken up in bed and she's not here... because she's gone to the bathroom or something. But somehow, I know she's never gonna come back to bed. If I could just... reach over and touch... her side of the bed, I would know that it was cold, but I can't. I know I can't have her back... but I don't want to wake up in the morning, thinking she's still here. I lie here not knowing... how long I've been alone. So how... how can I heal? How am I supposed to heal if I can't... feel time?"
"I'm not a killer. I'm just someone who wanted to make things right. Can't I just let myself forget what you've told me? Can't I just let myself forget what you've made me do. You think I just want another puzzle to solve? Another John G. to look for? You're John G. So you can be my John G... Will I lie to myself to be happy? In your case Teddy... yes I will."
"You can just feel the details. The bits and pieces you never bothered to put into words. And you can feel these extreme moments... even if you don't want to. You put these together, and you get the feel of a person. Enough to know how much you miss them... and how much you hate the person who took them away."
"I don't even know how long she's been gone. It's like I've woken up in bed and she's not here... because she's gone to the bathroom or something. But somehow, I know she's never gonna come back to bed. If I could just... reach over and touch... her side of the bed, I would know that it was cold, but I can't. I know I can't have her back... but I don't want to wake up in the morning, thinking she's still here. I lie here not knowing... how long I've been alone. So how... how can I heal? How am I supposed to heal if I can't... feel time?"
"I'm not a killer. I'm just someone who wanted to make things right. Can't I just let myself forget what you've told me? Can't I just let myself forget what you've made me do. You think I just want another puzzle to solve? Another John G. to look for? You're John G. So you can be my John G... Will I lie to myself to be happy? In your case Teddy... yes I will."
"You can just feel the details. The bits and pieces you never bothered to put into words. And you can feel these extreme moments... even if you don't want to. You put these together, and you get the feel of a person. Enough to know how much you miss them... and how much you hate the person who took them away."
Saturday, December 18, 2010
God does have a sense of humor
Will you like to hear that you are manipulated by strings attached from the heaven and you, your actions and your environment is governed by the small but impactful movements from the above?
I mean whats the point who wants the answers,its easy to not pay attention unless it affects us in first person. Its a bad joke that i have got some mad ideas specially when they are precisely to say not practical, vague and weird.
Lakra used to say that. I mean its history and it has no favorites, all it has is facts. Its us who make judgements,bias and rules.
One has a right to do anything to harm to suit and satiate the incumbent punch in their guts but one doesnt have a right to judge me, my actions and more over my Id. Its just as if we read something about someone and typecast them into a cabin which has words like strong,weak,loud,imbecile and so forth without understanding the complete variables,without even attempting to solve the puzzle. One has to be sensitive to the environment but their outlook must not be sentimental. It has to be dealt objectively with. It has to be looked as a third person and then try to put in their situation as a first person take.
I hate generalisations. Its nothing but a fake and shitty tool to make the dumbs go aww she/he has some knowledge. Its easy to reach to an opinion. They dont want labor pains, they just want the baby. Its the process which is important.
Will you be satisfied if only the result of match is shown on TV and not the complete match even if your favourite team wins everytime?
Its important to describe things like horror and moral terror to those who have either not felt it or they just pretend to read the book when they have just read the back cover. Faggots like them may be acclaimed by the system but the worst part is that the truth dies in you only when you die. It stays and haunts you like a witch. If they have to overcome it they have to kill their conscience first. And thats not easy. Trust me. Its the result of years and years of conditioning, the conscience.
If i muscle with the words to describe what horror is then it must be felt. Have i felt it. I dont know. But whatever it is, its not pertinent to describe the events but its much better if its defined in its raw form- the image of it, the picture of it. More over if i state event its bound that again you will have a penchant to form a judgement though subconciously but it will affect the way the you respond or not.
Horror has a face.It has an Id, which is the counter image of your own Id. Its the sumtotal of fears, insecurities and it strikes quick like a leopard. Moral terror is induced to make you 'stay in the barn' and give you a fake idea of security. Its easy for most of us to not cross the line because whats the point of it. These people subside their curiousity,if they had any in real sense, to by this idea of security. Now since what lies outside the moral code is unseen and hence can be safely termed as bad. Why? Because when its not experienced and cant offer security, it must be prohibited and therefore can be stated as not good or simply bad. Of course it not them who decide the code. Its done by some one else, some one who's smarter, experience and an extention of the idea that when so many support a thing it must be true. Majority wins. Democracy prevails. Screw this!
But now its clearer. The fog has disappeared. The sun has risen. Its not worth enough to feed almonds to the cattle and expect it to behave as a man. So feed them the grass. Its what they need. Give what they want and they will be happy. When it works that way then there is no harm in doing that. But it doesnt mean compromising or manuputating either its just the Darwins principle of Adaptabilty.
Then wont it be the strange case of Mr. Hyde and Dr. Jekyll. No it wont be that but its a truth that it cant be very different from it!
I mean whats the point who wants the answers,its easy to not pay attention unless it affects us in first person. Its a bad joke that i have got some mad ideas specially when they are precisely to say not practical, vague and weird.
Lakra used to say that. I mean its history and it has no favorites, all it has is facts. Its us who make judgements,bias and rules.
One has a right to do anything to harm to suit and satiate the incumbent punch in their guts but one doesnt have a right to judge me, my actions and more over my Id. Its just as if we read something about someone and typecast them into a cabin which has words like strong,weak,loud,imbecile and so forth without understanding the complete variables,without even attempting to solve the puzzle. One has to be sensitive to the environment but their outlook must not be sentimental. It has to be dealt objectively with. It has to be looked as a third person and then try to put in their situation as a first person take.
I hate generalisations. Its nothing but a fake and shitty tool to make the dumbs go aww she/he has some knowledge. Its easy to reach to an opinion. They dont want labor pains, they just want the baby. Its the process which is important.
Will you be satisfied if only the result of match is shown on TV and not the complete match even if your favourite team wins everytime?
Its important to describe things like horror and moral terror to those who have either not felt it or they just pretend to read the book when they have just read the back cover. Faggots like them may be acclaimed by the system but the worst part is that the truth dies in you only when you die. It stays and haunts you like a witch. If they have to overcome it they have to kill their conscience first. And thats not easy. Trust me. Its the result of years and years of conditioning, the conscience.
If i muscle with the words to describe what horror is then it must be felt. Have i felt it. I dont know. But whatever it is, its not pertinent to describe the events but its much better if its defined in its raw form- the image of it, the picture of it. More over if i state event its bound that again you will have a penchant to form a judgement though subconciously but it will affect the way the you respond or not.
Horror has a face.It has an Id, which is the counter image of your own Id. Its the sumtotal of fears, insecurities and it strikes quick like a leopard. Moral terror is induced to make you 'stay in the barn' and give you a fake idea of security. Its easy for most of us to not cross the line because whats the point of it. These people subside their curiousity,if they had any in real sense, to by this idea of security. Now since what lies outside the moral code is unseen and hence can be safely termed as bad. Why? Because when its not experienced and cant offer security, it must be prohibited and therefore can be stated as not good or simply bad. Of course it not them who decide the code. Its done by some one else, some one who's smarter, experience and an extention of the idea that when so many support a thing it must be true. Majority wins. Democracy prevails. Screw this!
But now its clearer. The fog has disappeared. The sun has risen. Its not worth enough to feed almonds to the cattle and expect it to behave as a man. So feed them the grass. Its what they need. Give what they want and they will be happy. When it works that way then there is no harm in doing that. But it doesnt mean compromising or manuputating either its just the Darwins principle of Adaptabilty.
Then wont it be the strange case of Mr. Hyde and Dr. Jekyll. No it wont be that but its a truth that it cant be very different from it!
Recoil Energy-December
Its like one warm afternoon in the cold December's last week, while you are laying in the sun to loose the frozen muscles and laziness comes in to you in bright colorful patterns since the sun gets in your eyes. Its green everywhere and cool breezes in between unsettle the tranquility to remind you thats its winter.
How many decembers i have seen when i have this damn deja-vu of being at different places at the same time. Am i so abstract that i cant explain myself to the one i feel the need to define myself. Its this irony that you get what you need but not what you want.
At school,my green sweater used to be completly covered with dry grass after the lunch. Like buffaloes we used to lay just like that in the ground. Dont wannna do anything but to stay like that for some more time. Hate that bell when they cued that classes were resumed. Still feel the same way the only thing is that mom doesnt stroke by back to dust of those dry grasses that were stuck in my sweater.
At college, my black leather jacket which used to become my second skin in winters. It had saved me from bruises,scars and endowed me with an image i just wanted to be in. I remember how it used to give me sweat as soon as i would stop at a place in afternoon. And when on the move it offered me with chilled kicks.
Am i here only for the kicks or do i have a certain philosophy to negotiate. I know what ever happens now next december and thereafter i would have place where i would not have to define things as they will be anonymous and so will be me. Perfect strangers. Then i would call this as a phase that has bygone and then that would be the place where expression assumes my sole purpose.
I will get dissolved in the mixture to give it new flavour and texture. This selflessness will empower me to give back. So much has been done but why does it feels like that so much has to be done. Just as the way as if i enter the hall for a test and i realise i know nothing and then in the next moment i say- "What the heck, who wants this miserable thing anyways
?"
How many decembers i have seen when i have this damn deja-vu of being at different places at the same time. Am i so abstract that i cant explain myself to the one i feel the need to define myself. Its this irony that you get what you need but not what you want.
At school,my green sweater used to be completly covered with dry grass after the lunch. Like buffaloes we used to lay just like that in the ground. Dont wannna do anything but to stay like that for some more time. Hate that bell when they cued that classes were resumed. Still feel the same way the only thing is that mom doesnt stroke by back to dust of those dry grasses that were stuck in my sweater.
At college, my black leather jacket which used to become my second skin in winters. It had saved me from bruises,scars and endowed me with an image i just wanted to be in. I remember how it used to give me sweat as soon as i would stop at a place in afternoon. And when on the move it offered me with chilled kicks.
Am i here only for the kicks or do i have a certain philosophy to negotiate. I know what ever happens now next december and thereafter i would have place where i would not have to define things as they will be anonymous and so will be me. Perfect strangers. Then i would call this as a phase that has bygone and then that would be the place where expression assumes my sole purpose.
I will get dissolved in the mixture to give it new flavour and texture. This selflessness will empower me to give back. So much has been done but why does it feels like that so much has to be done. Just as the way as if i enter the hall for a test and i realise i know nothing and then in the next moment i say- "What the heck, who wants this miserable thing anyways
?"
Friday, December 17, 2010
Monday, December 13, 2010
Right People at Right time.
Its wonderful to recognise that certain fragrance takes you back to the time when it had been with you. Its kinda weird but a proven fact. First few days to this unknown dungeon i was all i had with me. Every one had gone to home for vacation and I and other two Bhutan guys were only people left in a 150 room capacity 'ancient' place. Even the two lakshsweep guys were planning to move to some place. But finally they were there.
Why i did not go home? Well is that a trick question, hhmmmm i decided to experiment that it. That is a good enough reason.
Winter days with 5 day vacation.
Day 1: Bhutani Guys; Understanding Bhutani Culture
Bhutani guys and I were not able to communicate even basic things. They dont speak hindi and english with half clipped accent was far too incomprehensible. I made a wrong start already by calling a bare chested cossak wearing old guy a faggot. He came out to be their KING. Hail the King! Bhutan in 2004 was still ruled by King. Later Nidup, very much of looks like jugal hansraj in that crappy movie mohabattein, tried to show me his photo album. Very exotic pics, that was the only thing i could bear with him that too for good 2 hours. Later that too got messed up when i could not make out who were his sisters, cousins and mother. They all looked the same. His mother got married with his father when she was 13 and took up the cause of serving the commandment of king to generate at least 6 kids. They obliged and Nidup was the last fruit of his parents hard work, he explained it to me without any expression at all. I thought it may be a joke and laughed for complete 5 minutes. So photos were outta question now.
Day 2 : Playing Cards with Lakhsdweep guys
It happend that sandy( Almost has a black bear type personality with an exception of penguin type skin) tried to chip in while we were having tea in the bed. Sandy is such a gentleman he would do just anything to make people enjoy his company. I immediately liked that guy and he's been a good friend just before he went back to laksdweep to support his father's small boat company. He's offered me to come over there when possible. Although he was not able to get the attention of the girl who named him sandy in the first place but i think he made a decent accept. Any ways, we walked for an hour to get playing cards. By the time we went to the shop we gelled quite nicely. His sea trip and local food description were exotic. So though we bought cards we never played because we found somthing else which was more interesting. Ya it was evening and i had identified a marriage cermony party. Sandy loves food and i love thrill so we planned to get in there. Sandy was very reluctant to get in first. Then i aksed him a very cleched but effective question which has worked 99 percent of time for me.
" Do you trust me Sandy?" I asked
" No dude!" he replied
I guess he was in the other 1 percent.
Still i got him convinced somehow and there we were inside. I guess it was in the compound of Surya Hotel where this function was happening but i grossly underestimated the situation as it turned out to be a private b'day party with only 60-70 people on the board. We cant even come outside now as we had already shaken hands with people at the gate.
Day 3: Swades
Now even the laksdweep and Bhutani were out of the hostel. This was the testing day. In the morning i was enjoying radio. It was Mohd. Rafi special, i remember, so there were famous tracks- maine poocha chand se and the likes. Awesome music. Then ate something while reading the newspaper. I saw swadesh was running in madhumilan and i was curious about aushotosh gowarikar and he didnt disappoint. SRK's best performance and Gayatri Joshi though lacked maturity of a seasoned actor but her casting did justice to the role as her looks definitely suited to the role. Her frigid acting actually did compliment the attitude of the character played. The romantic scenes were simple and warm. My personal like was their argumentation in the kitchen.
In the night i was bit soggy of the weird voices accross the long corridors. Then i used the earphones, played some music and slept.
Woke up early and did a lot of chatting with Dashrath- the guard and decided to pack the backs.
5 days cut short to 3 but still i got what i needed- exclusivity.
Why i did not go home? Well is that a trick question, hhmmmm i decided to experiment that it. That is a good enough reason.
Winter days with 5 day vacation.
Day 1: Bhutani Guys; Understanding Bhutani Culture
Bhutani guys and I were not able to communicate even basic things. They dont speak hindi and english with half clipped accent was far too incomprehensible. I made a wrong start already by calling a bare chested cossak wearing old guy a faggot. He came out to be their KING. Hail the King! Bhutan in 2004 was still ruled by King. Later Nidup, very much of looks like jugal hansraj in that crappy movie mohabattein, tried to show me his photo album. Very exotic pics, that was the only thing i could bear with him that too for good 2 hours. Later that too got messed up when i could not make out who were his sisters, cousins and mother. They all looked the same. His mother got married with his father when she was 13 and took up the cause of serving the commandment of king to generate at least 6 kids. They obliged and Nidup was the last fruit of his parents hard work, he explained it to me without any expression at all. I thought it may be a joke and laughed for complete 5 minutes. So photos were outta question now.
Day 2 : Playing Cards with Lakhsdweep guys
It happend that sandy( Almost has a black bear type personality with an exception of penguin type skin) tried to chip in while we were having tea in the bed. Sandy is such a gentleman he would do just anything to make people enjoy his company. I immediately liked that guy and he's been a good friend just before he went back to laksdweep to support his father's small boat company. He's offered me to come over there when possible. Although he was not able to get the attention of the girl who named him sandy in the first place but i think he made a decent accept. Any ways, we walked for an hour to get playing cards. By the time we went to the shop we gelled quite nicely. His sea trip and local food description were exotic. So though we bought cards we never played because we found somthing else which was more interesting. Ya it was evening and i had identified a marriage cermony party. Sandy loves food and i love thrill so we planned to get in there. Sandy was very reluctant to get in first. Then i aksed him a very cleched but effective question which has worked 99 percent of time for me.
" Do you trust me Sandy?" I asked
" No dude!" he replied
I guess he was in the other 1 percent.
Still i got him convinced somehow and there we were inside. I guess it was in the compound of Surya Hotel where this function was happening but i grossly underestimated the situation as it turned out to be a private b'day party with only 60-70 people on the board. We cant even come outside now as we had already shaken hands with people at the gate.
Day 3: Swades
Now even the laksdweep and Bhutani were out of the hostel. This was the testing day. In the morning i was enjoying radio. It was Mohd. Rafi special, i remember, so there were famous tracks- maine poocha chand se and the likes. Awesome music. Then ate something while reading the newspaper. I saw swadesh was running in madhumilan and i was curious about aushotosh gowarikar and he didnt disappoint. SRK's best performance and Gayatri Joshi though lacked maturity of a seasoned actor but her casting did justice to the role as her looks definitely suited to the role. Her frigid acting actually did compliment the attitude of the character played. The romantic scenes were simple and warm. My personal like was their argumentation in the kitchen.
In the night i was bit soggy of the weird voices accross the long corridors. Then i used the earphones, played some music and slept.
Woke up early and did a lot of chatting with Dashrath- the guard and decided to pack the backs.
5 days cut short to 3 but still i got what i needed- exclusivity.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Voilent Streak
Varun is twisting the arms of Gohil and he just cant help but aquiesce to the malafide intentions of hurting him more. It starts with fun, gigles and laughters but they all dont end with the same. Masks of self righteousness, Garbs of being a confidante and white feathers of innocent emotions are fancy toys for some. I am not different and neither ashamed of being tricked and mesmerised with the one. Its an objective environment and here we are stabbing the ones we shower the flowers and that too right on the face. Ouch!!! Did it hurt. I guess when this facade of 'hi and bye' types ends we are faced with the mirror.
Not a single individual has the capacity to act life long. The basic personality has to come up. Good, Bad or Ugly its up to your well wishers have to decide but i am anonymous. Though i have a name and vegetate like anyone else but this has to happen.. cmon' i m not the 'x types'. You cant just act through the life no one can do that. See all those teenage vampire stories; fancy though; might tickle the bone, cant hide. Wolverine cant hide it. Mr. Hyde and Dr. Jackal cant do it. It has to show some day thats the truth.
So Gohil shouts between the bursts of laughter and asks Varun to stop now. Varun, by the way, is a sadist. Not the extreme case but is an amateur. So he twiches his neck, it makes a nerdy sound, and tries to go to the next level. Initial situation suggests that this emaciated and thin frame of Gohil is submissive and actually is enjoying the punishment. And it happens... i hear some thing, some voice, like that of breaking of ceramic plates or plaster or muffled voice of acute pain. As if that shrill shout is mitigated with a cover of hand. Gohil got his arm joint twisted and misplaced, though its not broken we later found that.
In the next microsecond, there was a flash of his right hand on the face fo Varun. I remember very vividly that i head a thud and splash of blood from the plump cheeks of Varun. He had by then devastated the very fair and fluffy cheeks of Varun, which he thought was his usp for ultimate seducation which is 'acute' observation of his gf.
We all were stunned for a moment and then i look a lavish bite on my aloo ki kachori and took care to munch the extra sauce and sour-salty-finely cut salad garnish with it. It tasted heaven, i remember, that time. Then i saw other guys rushing for the help for both gohil and varun. I was wanted there but my mouth was filled completely so i used the 600 ml nimbu sauda gulp to wash the juices through my tounge for extra delight. When i was satiated, i stood up from my place and went closer to take a scrutiny of their fresh wounds, i almost started with a smile and then i chocked myself with intermittent coughs. It was hilarious.
A voilent streak had accosted Gohil and that resulted in the face-off of varun with the devil himself. Later they all got washed up and fixed late in the evening. In the morning we were studying Nuclear Reactor and the afternoon ended with a fluid Mechanics lab. A few days later it wasnt worth while to discuss even because it became boring. Though Varun's usp was disadvantaged in the process. With a scar on his face he was still cute to his gf. Gohil identified himself with a new found image of 'fun within a limit type of a guy'.
And i was still very intersted in the same aloo ki kachori and aunti soda to rinse by mouth with!
Not a single individual has the capacity to act life long. The basic personality has to come up. Good, Bad or Ugly its up to your well wishers have to decide but i am anonymous. Though i have a name and vegetate like anyone else but this has to happen.. cmon' i m not the 'x types'. You cant just act through the life no one can do that. See all those teenage vampire stories; fancy though; might tickle the bone, cant hide. Wolverine cant hide it. Mr. Hyde and Dr. Jackal cant do it. It has to show some day thats the truth.
So Gohil shouts between the bursts of laughter and asks Varun to stop now. Varun, by the way, is a sadist. Not the extreme case but is an amateur. So he twiches his neck, it makes a nerdy sound, and tries to go to the next level. Initial situation suggests that this emaciated and thin frame of Gohil is submissive and actually is enjoying the punishment. And it happens... i hear some thing, some voice, like that of breaking of ceramic plates or plaster or muffled voice of acute pain. As if that shrill shout is mitigated with a cover of hand. Gohil got his arm joint twisted and misplaced, though its not broken we later found that.
In the next microsecond, there was a flash of his right hand on the face fo Varun. I remember very vividly that i head a thud and splash of blood from the plump cheeks of Varun. He had by then devastated the very fair and fluffy cheeks of Varun, which he thought was his usp for ultimate seducation which is 'acute' observation of his gf.
We all were stunned for a moment and then i look a lavish bite on my aloo ki kachori and took care to munch the extra sauce and sour-salty-finely cut salad garnish with it. It tasted heaven, i remember, that time. Then i saw other guys rushing for the help for both gohil and varun. I was wanted there but my mouth was filled completely so i used the 600 ml nimbu sauda gulp to wash the juices through my tounge for extra delight. When i was satiated, i stood up from my place and went closer to take a scrutiny of their fresh wounds, i almost started with a smile and then i chocked myself with intermittent coughs. It was hilarious.
A voilent streak had accosted Gohil and that resulted in the face-off of varun with the devil himself. Later they all got washed up and fixed late in the evening. In the morning we were studying Nuclear Reactor and the afternoon ended with a fluid Mechanics lab. A few days later it wasnt worth while to discuss even because it became boring. Though Varun's usp was disadvantaged in the process. With a scar on his face he was still cute to his gf. Gohil identified himself with a new found image of 'fun within a limit type of a guy'.
And i was still very intersted in the same aloo ki kachori and aunti soda to rinse by mouth with!
Saturday, December 11, 2010
In a minute!!!
Have you ever seen your most fulfilling dream passing out of your hands in minutes just like dry sand falls out of hand no matter how hard you try to hold it ...tight. Newer places and ambience makes me invigourated all the times, its like flavor to life. I am reviving, asking questions and making newer recipies. Explaining to the self that there is more to the purpose here.
Most good things in life begins very innocuously, we tend to overlook it but then when we start assuming importance and takes most of room in mind they feel better than ever. After they check out we are nowhere.
Anonymous hotel room, thats what is the stupd-fkn definition is the way of living. Some call it extravaganza, others call it journey, and when some asks me what do i call it- I always ask for a minute.
In a minute!
Admist loud music, chaos, crowd, high speed vehicles, scattered food and concrete roads is what i beckon a invisible hand. A Invisible hand that will come from sky and take me to a new place, where there are transcendal creation of beautific imaginations. Moreover there wont be the like of me- mortals, with an eyes, blood, bones and flesh we define our generations. All the filth that there is has to merge with something that is still worthy of calling it sanity. Adam Smith defined the core of capitalism and people celebrated his creation of wealth of nations but forgot the 'invisible hand'.
This is neither heresy, blashphemy, filth or abstruse my fellow sapiens because our survival is not a function of mating only but we have another vital role to play to. That is to call upon the devils beneath the earth and give the throne they rightly deserve. The earth.
I must sleep before i go more towards nowhere. WHy do you people read this stuff. Dont you have some other 'important work' to do. May be you want to attend the call of nature. I guess i have to pick it up now...........
seeya
happy crazinees.. its neither begining nor the end.. it was always in the middle.. always been.. and always be..there.
Most good things in life begins very innocuously, we tend to overlook it but then when we start assuming importance and takes most of room in mind they feel better than ever. After they check out we are nowhere.
Anonymous hotel room, thats what is the stupd-fkn definition is the way of living. Some call it extravaganza, others call it journey, and when some asks me what do i call it- I always ask for a minute.
In a minute!
Admist loud music, chaos, crowd, high speed vehicles, scattered food and concrete roads is what i beckon a invisible hand. A Invisible hand that will come from sky and take me to a new place, where there are transcendal creation of beautific imaginations. Moreover there wont be the like of me- mortals, with an eyes, blood, bones and flesh we define our generations. All the filth that there is has to merge with something that is still worthy of calling it sanity. Adam Smith defined the core of capitalism and people celebrated his creation of wealth of nations but forgot the 'invisible hand'.
This is neither heresy, blashphemy, filth or abstruse my fellow sapiens because our survival is not a function of mating only but we have another vital role to play to. That is to call upon the devils beneath the earth and give the throne they rightly deserve. The earth.
I must sleep before i go more towards nowhere. WHy do you people read this stuff. Dont you have some other 'important work' to do. May be you want to attend the call of nature. I guess i have to pick it up now...........
seeya
happy crazinees.. its neither begining nor the end.. it was always in the middle.. always been.. and always be..there.
From my book of psychology!!!!
Non Verbal Communication: transmission of information without using language; facial expressions; eye contact; body movements and posture; touching.
Attribution:Understanding the causes of others' behaviour; Jones and Davis's theory of correspondent inference: from acts to dispositions. Kelly's theory of causal attribution: How do we answer the question,why?
Consensus: extent to which reactions of one person are also shown by others.
Consistency : same stimulus yeilding same response.
Distinctiveness: same response to different stimuli.
Discounting Principle : tendency to attach less importance to one potential cause to some behaviour when other potential causes are also present.
Augmenting Principle: tendency to attach more importance to a potential cause of behaviour.
Fundamental Atrribution Error: Overstating the role of dispostional causes when explaining others behaviour.
Actor Observer Effect: You fell, i was pushed!
Self Serving Bias: I can do no wrong, but you can do no right
Impression formation and impression management : The fine art of looking good.
Self enhancement: boost our image
Other enhancement: make the other person feel good in our presence.
Schemas : mental frameworks contain information appropiate to particular situation or events. for eg. i enter a party and guage the scenario at par with other similar occurences
Prototypes : we have prototypes for sports heroes, leaders, doctors, professors. We think of a professor and imagine him taking a class. Its absurdity to think of professors doing a strip dance, just cant come to our mind. I m discounting fetishes here.. lol..
Heuristics simple rule to take complex decison at a quick rate. For eg. you are hanging from a cliff without anything worthwhile to cling upon. Its a complex situation but we need a quick decision coz its life which is in trouble. Similar situation can be a mad dog chasing you in a dark night where thereis absolute no chance to find a saviour. Quick decision is solicitated.....what to do... fast...
Representativeness: Whether this has occured before...
Availability: what comes to mind first...
Automatic Thinking: powerful tedency tp pay attention to negative information or stimuli.
Counterfactual Thinking :some surprising effects of considering "What might have been";mental stimulation
Magical Thinking: would you eat a chocolate shaped like a spider?
Social Cognition:
Affect Infusion Model : explains the influence of affective states on cognition( Do we feel what we show or do we show what we feel)
Classical Conditioning:
Intrumental Conditioning
Modeling- Central Route & Peripheral route to persuation
Cognitive Dissonanace: how do we change our own attitudes
Forced Compliance
Less-to-More Effect
Selective Avoidance
Trivialisation
Reactance
Gender Consistency
Gender Indentity maleness and femaleness
Possible selves
Self concept
Self Esteem
Self Focusing
Self Monitoring
Sex Typing
Social Identity
Prejudice
Discrimination
Contact Hypothesis
Gender Stereotypes
Glass ceiling
Recategorisation
Reverse discrimination
Sexism
Sexual Harassment
Tokenism
Appearance Anxiety
Attitude similarity
Matching hypothesis
Interpersonal Atrraction
Need for Affiliation
Balance
Imbalance
Non Balance
Repulsion hypothesis
Social comparison theory
Attachment Style
Close friendship
Intimacy
Interdependence
Lonliness
Passionate Feeling
Compassionate Love
Socio sexuality
Love
Triangular Model of Love
Conformity
Compliance
Obedience
Bait and switch tactic
Door in the face technique
foot in the mouth tactics
Lowballing
Ingratiation-Individuation
Altruism
Bystander
Empathy
Pluralistic Ignorance
Repression
Sensitisation
Egoism
Genetic
Aggresation
Cathararsis Hypothesis
Child Maltreatment
Cognitive Theories
Drive Theories
Familicide
Frustation Agression hypothesis
Hostile Agression
Incompatible Responses
Punishment
Sexual Jealousy
Provocation
Behaviour Patterns: Type A versus Type B
Workplace Aggresion
Additive Tasks
Charismatic Leaders
Cohesiveness
Collective Effort Model
Collective Entrapment
Decision Making
Distraction
Conflict Theory
Distributive Justice
Drive Theory of social facilitation
Equity
Evaluation Apprehension
Great Person Theory
Group Polarisation
Group think
Procedural Justice
Norms
Interpersonal Justice
Social Loafing
Status
Straw Poll
Transformational Leaders
Attribution:Understanding the causes of others' behaviour; Jones and Davis's theory of correspondent inference: from acts to dispositions. Kelly's theory of causal attribution: How do we answer the question,why?
Consensus: extent to which reactions of one person are also shown by others.
Consistency : same stimulus yeilding same response.
Distinctiveness: same response to different stimuli.
Discounting Principle : tendency to attach less importance to one potential cause to some behaviour when other potential causes are also present.
Augmenting Principle: tendency to attach more importance to a potential cause of behaviour.
Fundamental Atrribution Error: Overstating the role of dispostional causes when explaining others behaviour.
Actor Observer Effect: You fell, i was pushed!
Self Serving Bias: I can do no wrong, but you can do no right
Impression formation and impression management : The fine art of looking good.
Self enhancement: boost our image
Other enhancement: make the other person feel good in our presence.
Schemas : mental frameworks contain information appropiate to particular situation or events. for eg. i enter a party and guage the scenario at par with other similar occurences
Prototypes : we have prototypes for sports heroes, leaders, doctors, professors. We think of a professor and imagine him taking a class. Its absurdity to think of professors doing a strip dance, just cant come to our mind. I m discounting fetishes here.. lol..
Heuristics simple rule to take complex decison at a quick rate. For eg. you are hanging from a cliff without anything worthwhile to cling upon. Its a complex situation but we need a quick decision coz its life which is in trouble. Similar situation can be a mad dog chasing you in a dark night where thereis absolute no chance to find a saviour. Quick decision is solicitated.....what to do... fast...
Representativeness: Whether this has occured before...
Availability: what comes to mind first...
Automatic Thinking: powerful tedency tp pay attention to negative information or stimuli.
Counterfactual Thinking :some surprising effects of considering "What might have been";mental stimulation
Magical Thinking: would you eat a chocolate shaped like a spider?
Social Cognition:
Affect Infusion Model : explains the influence of affective states on cognition( Do we feel what we show or do we show what we feel)
Classical Conditioning:
Intrumental Conditioning
Modeling- Central Route & Peripheral route to persuation
Cognitive Dissonanace: how do we change our own attitudes
Forced Compliance
Less-to-More Effect
Selective Avoidance
Trivialisation
Reactance
Gender Consistency
Gender Indentity maleness and femaleness
Possible selves
Self concept
Self Esteem
Self Focusing
Self Monitoring
Sex Typing
Social Identity
Prejudice
Discrimination
Contact Hypothesis
Gender Stereotypes
Glass ceiling
Recategorisation
Reverse discrimination
Sexism
Sexual Harassment
Tokenism
Appearance Anxiety
Attitude similarity
Matching hypothesis
Interpersonal Atrraction
Need for Affiliation
Balance
Imbalance
Non Balance
Repulsion hypothesis
Social comparison theory
Attachment Style
Close friendship
Intimacy
Interdependence
Lonliness
Passionate Feeling
Compassionate Love
Socio sexuality
Love
Triangular Model of Love
Conformity
Compliance
Obedience
Bait and switch tactic
Door in the face technique
foot in the mouth tactics
Lowballing
Ingratiation-Individuation
Altruism
Bystander
Empathy
Pluralistic Ignorance
Repression
Sensitisation
Egoism
Genetic
Aggresation
Cathararsis Hypothesis
Child Maltreatment
Cognitive Theories
Drive Theories
Familicide
Frustation Agression hypothesis
Hostile Agression
Incompatible Responses
Punishment
Sexual Jealousy
Provocation
Behaviour Patterns: Type A versus Type B
Workplace Aggresion
Additive Tasks
Charismatic Leaders
Cohesiveness
Collective Effort Model
Collective Entrapment
Decision Making
Distraction
Conflict Theory
Distributive Justice
Drive Theory of social facilitation
Equity
Evaluation Apprehension
Great Person Theory
Group Polarisation
Group think
Procedural Justice
Norms
Interpersonal Justice
Social Loafing
Status
Straw Poll
Transformational Leaders
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Is it content or the presentation that matters?
I throw this as an open question for all the thinkers. I would try to analyse the topic with respect of certain incidences i have been closely following.
First would be Obama's visit to India and its repurcussions thereafter. The entire visit could be seen as a management masterpiece as the events and meetings were choreographed to the perfection. Indian politicians were watchful about US's intentions which were mostly related to generation of employment opportunites in the state. So the US president deftly hit the Indian corporate giants with lucrative pacts signed with them and an invitation to invest in america. First things first and then the things of relatively lower importance were addressed such as answering to India's expectations of permanent seat in the security council and reprimand to pakistan for proliferation of terrorism. However in my opinion both of these issues could never directly help India to achieve something fruitful in lieu of strengthening the economy and addressing the competition from China. Obama is a intelligent man but i cannot find the same when it comes to his 'change' rhetoric which he used throughout his election campain. He is very good at public speaking and has a charisma 10 times than that of amithabh bacchan that's it. Plain and simple. He just did his homework and gave Indian what it wanted i.e. just a 'jhunjhuna' with which a child plays and forgets other things.
All the dancing in the school by Michelle and ' Jai Hind' slogan in the parliament by Obama was a mere eyewash. Media and other people can be happy with that but i am not in a mood of romance, you see. What is the work done on the table is what matters at the end of the day. I wish our PM could have thought about that. All we want is that US must teach a lesson to Pakistan for being a spoiled child in the subcontinent. I dont understand when we will realise that we have grown up now and can definately play the elder bother here. C'mon now dont say that its easier said than done but i would just say if Sardar Patel could make more than 200 independent kingdoms ,some of them of the size of pakistan now, to fall in line to our terms than who is this hostile neighbours. Now our high held intellectual beauracratic class would say that i m immature here then answer just one question. Was US immature when it said to the rest of the world that in the war against terrorism you are either with us or against us. We have no issues with Iran in fact it is among the top 5 nations with whom we trade the most. Then why do we have to make changes in our foreign policy with it. Obama instructs our leaders in our parliament in our country to 'look into Burma' and our leaders just give him standing ovation for that. Excuse me people, either our MLA's have never seen high quality presentations or they have a sense of humor of a 8 year old girl. I mean if you could replace Obama with Al pacino in the scent of woman speech, they would have touched his feet then!
However when US said that we are not a developing country but a developed one we should understand that now its the time to create some identity of our own. We have to stop kissing the ass of so called other powerful countries and wait for them to act in out internal matters. We should learn something from Israel, a very small state compared to India, which is cornered with the most hostile neighbours in the world. America is bound to give them support because they just wont allow themseleves to be overpowered.
But i have personally drawn very helpful observations from Obama. First,a leader with good impactful public speaking skills is simply indomitable. History has shown this many times with the cases of Hitler or Atal Bihari Vajpayee and in the present Obama is a classic example of the same.
I hope the readers would not make judgements from my seemingly caustic remarks and make their own opinions instead while imbibing something positive. Please feel free to post your comments or share the writeup and a fruitful discussion is always welcome.
Happy thinking!
First would be Obama's visit to India and its repurcussions thereafter. The entire visit could be seen as a management masterpiece as the events and meetings were choreographed to the perfection. Indian politicians were watchful about US's intentions which were mostly related to generation of employment opportunites in the state. So the US president deftly hit the Indian corporate giants with lucrative pacts signed with them and an invitation to invest in america. First things first and then the things of relatively lower importance were addressed such as answering to India's expectations of permanent seat in the security council and reprimand to pakistan for proliferation of terrorism. However in my opinion both of these issues could never directly help India to achieve something fruitful in lieu of strengthening the economy and addressing the competition from China. Obama is a intelligent man but i cannot find the same when it comes to his 'change' rhetoric which he used throughout his election campain. He is very good at public speaking and has a charisma 10 times than that of amithabh bacchan that's it. Plain and simple. He just did his homework and gave Indian what it wanted i.e. just a 'jhunjhuna' with which a child plays and forgets other things.
All the dancing in the school by Michelle and ' Jai Hind' slogan in the parliament by Obama was a mere eyewash. Media and other people can be happy with that but i am not in a mood of romance, you see. What is the work done on the table is what matters at the end of the day. I wish our PM could have thought about that. All we want is that US must teach a lesson to Pakistan for being a spoiled child in the subcontinent. I dont understand when we will realise that we have grown up now and can definately play the elder bother here. C'mon now dont say that its easier said than done but i would just say if Sardar Patel could make more than 200 independent kingdoms ,some of them of the size of pakistan now, to fall in line to our terms than who is this hostile neighbours. Now our high held intellectual beauracratic class would say that i m immature here then answer just one question. Was US immature when it said to the rest of the world that in the war against terrorism you are either with us or against us. We have no issues with Iran in fact it is among the top 5 nations with whom we trade the most. Then why do we have to make changes in our foreign policy with it. Obama instructs our leaders in our parliament in our country to 'look into Burma' and our leaders just give him standing ovation for that. Excuse me people, either our MLA's have never seen high quality presentations or they have a sense of humor of a 8 year old girl. I mean if you could replace Obama with Al pacino in the scent of woman speech, they would have touched his feet then!
However when US said that we are not a developing country but a developed one we should understand that now its the time to create some identity of our own. We have to stop kissing the ass of so called other powerful countries and wait for them to act in out internal matters. We should learn something from Israel, a very small state compared to India, which is cornered with the most hostile neighbours in the world. America is bound to give them support because they just wont allow themseleves to be overpowered.
But i have personally drawn very helpful observations from Obama. First,a leader with good impactful public speaking skills is simply indomitable. History has shown this many times with the cases of Hitler or Atal Bihari Vajpayee and in the present Obama is a classic example of the same.
I hope the readers would not make judgements from my seemingly caustic remarks and make their own opinions instead while imbibing something positive. Please feel free to post your comments or share the writeup and a fruitful discussion is always welcome.
Happy thinking!
Cry- James Blunt
This song has a whole lot of connection with the sordid saga i had sung many a times. But there is a hope in here too because it takes me to a different train of thoughts and the good part is i feel proud because atleast at i understand me.
"Cry"
I have seen peace. I have seen pain,
Resting on the shoulders of your name.
Do you see the truth through all their lies?
Do you see the world through troubled eyes?
And if you want to talk about it anymore,
Lie here on the floor and cry on my shoulder,
I'm a friend.
I have seen birth. I have seen death.
Lived to see a lover's final breath.
Do you see my guilt? Should I feel a fright?
Is the fire of hesitation burning bright?
And if you want to talk about it once again,
On you I depend. I'll cry on your shoulder.
You're a friend.
You and I have lived through many things.
I'll hold on to your heart.
I wouldn't cry for anything,
But don't go tearing your life apart.
I have seen fear. I have seen faith.
Seen the look of anger on your face.
And if you want to talk about what will be,
Come and sit with me, and cry on my shoulder,
I'm a friend.
And if you want to talk about it anymore,
Lie here on the floor and cry on my shoulder,
Once again.
Cry on my shoulder,
I'm a friend.
"Cry"
I have seen peace. I have seen pain,
Resting on the shoulders of your name.
Do you see the truth through all their lies?
Do you see the world through troubled eyes?
And if you want to talk about it anymore,
Lie here on the floor and cry on my shoulder,
I'm a friend.
I have seen birth. I have seen death.
Lived to see a lover's final breath.
Do you see my guilt? Should I feel a fright?
Is the fire of hesitation burning bright?
And if you want to talk about it once again,
On you I depend. I'll cry on your shoulder.
You're a friend.
You and I have lived through many things.
I'll hold on to your heart.
I wouldn't cry for anything,
But don't go tearing your life apart.
I have seen fear. I have seen faith.
Seen the look of anger on your face.
And if you want to talk about what will be,
Come and sit with me, and cry on my shoulder,
I'm a friend.
And if you want to talk about it anymore,
Lie here on the floor and cry on my shoulder,
Once again.
Cry on my shoulder,
I'm a friend.
Friday, December 3, 2010
Monologues of a lost soul
"So where am I ?"
" I have been sleeping."
" No you dont thats why you are sleeping in the juice bar"
" Ya i think i must order a coffee now"
" That will be just fine kaizer"
" I think you are facing a large water body and we are on some height"
" Stop being mundane and logical all the time kaizer its called a lake and its beautiful"
"Hmmm i think there a lot of smog up there at horizon, pollution and cold."
" I said stop mumbling jargons kaizer for god sake, i m here for some fun."
" Fun is derived when you let go yourself with all the expectations which you have"
" Kaizer, now you are what a theuraputist"
" No rahul, i m just being me so that i can be more of you!"
" Wow now whom you are trying to impress with your stupid philosophy lessons"
" Definitely not you, I m straight"
" You just wont stop do you?"
" Ok no fighting, just order a black coffee"
"No i want an orange juice"
" Its cold dumbass! You should......"
" Dont tell me what should i do, its my vacation and moreover i am paying"
" You are just a lost soul"
" I thought you are my soul, ha ha ha"
"Not funny Rahul Sharma, boring name"
" Now you want to fight me because you have a cool name"
" I dont want you to beat yourself, moreover its like that fight club story"
" All you do is to talk movies... huh, i m trying to be romantic here"
" Alone"
" Why i m not alone?"
" Well i dont see any 1 else here rahul"
" Then imagine some one kaizer"
"Ok this will be fun, who you want - ashley jude, katie homes, kate or that new hottie"
" No not them "
" Then how about vidhya balan, katrina, anushka sharma or "
" Stop it dude"
" Then what do you want goddamit, this is what i have in records"
" Drop the plan, we'l be alone"
" Not again"
" Shut up and think , look at this place dude its disconnected with everyhing else"
" I dont feel anything like that"
" Concentrate kaizer we need something very fine for some writing to do"
" Ok but i want coffee for that..."
" Ok you stubborn ass .. waiter get me some coffee and extra sugar and some creams and a few cookies"
" You happy now"
" Never felt better"
" So lets get to work..."
" Okie.. what about some cool air, afternoon so that some hot air striking the rocks gets nice luke warm"
"Go on"
" Migratory birds, slow motion things.."
" Go on"
" Its a small boat and she is infront of you in a white frock like dress i dont know the name"
"Dont bother just go on"
"So she whispers some thing naughy in your ears and you fall off the seat.......splash in to the water"
" What! No cut the splash into the water scene and go on with the whisper in the ear thing"
"Bastard!"
" I m the boss, go on with the story or i ll cancel the order"
" Ok i was jst joking"
"YOu better not be doing this, wasting my time"
" Okkkk.... she says this naughty thuing and you catch her arms and make her sit besides you and then you ask her to repeat it while you look her in the eye"
" WOw its nice but a bit too heavy for the plot to move swiftly"
" Ok then you do the thinking then."
" You know i cant do that"
"then just stop being the boss. Just set me free and then you'll experience real pleasure"
" Oh yeah.. then we can wait for some more time. Lets eat!"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
kaizer and me had another evening spent writing after we had some nice travelling done. BTW kaizer is my mind!
A day of shame for Journalists
The recent Mira Radia tape leaks with top notch journalists i.e. Barkha Dutt and Vir Sanghvi has shocked the people who are in the profession and people alike. Though media continues to downplay the incident;they face a heavy flak in blogs and twitter community. Though the modus operandi followed in the incident is not new to the people in the profession but it has seriously invoked a skeptic outlook about the credibility of 'public opinion' creaters from my own perview. I had once listened to Barkha Dutt in a seminar at pune; she looked smart and confident about the way she has accomplished a niche in the industry for herself through her reporting, but this is the second dent to her image before which i had admired her a lot.
She has not taken the responsibilty and instead termed this episode as an 'error of judgement' which i think is a very weak argument in the lieu of the extent of the damage done to the whole profession. Journalists work through their entire life for compromising remuneration( earliar though the story has changed now) to build a credibility.
Imagine a reporter without credibility or trust value, will you read what he or she writes and make an opinion out of that!
I dont proclaim that one should have an holier than thou attitude while approaching work but still there are some ethics which are to be maintained. Robin hood of ancient times was not a hypocite when he used trickery and voilence to teach some manners to rich and profess soft heartedness to poor. He had a different kind of work ethics which suited to his whole purpose. Also one should not be judging him for his life style. This is the major flaw here because we either strictly follow a code or just completely ignore it. You see morality cannot be deifned in black and white, there is some gray attached to it. Same follows with different leaders and their approaches- see for eg. shashri ji used to wear old shirt inside a nice jacket not because he had none just because he would say to her wife that it didnt matter how i look when i serve my position. Gandhi ji just like any other simple young man had himself find in the places of conflict when he had to choose between various forms of morality. Some he did fail while doing so but he corrected them via accepting them blatantly by writing a whole book about it- My Experiments with Truth.
My sole objective here is to identify with the need now for Vir Sanghvi and Barkha to simply take responsibility of their actions and do the needful to convince masses like us who are still take their words for granted! I still remember how we used to take HT's editorial stuff directly into debate matter in school for academics. Now if i get to know that its principal columnist Vir Sanghvi is biased and a political lobbiyst, i just feel cheated and my buddies would want to meet him personally to shower garlands on him!
Another thing here is that 'English Media' over the years has grown into our times because we have a perception that their presentation is professional and cool, but my friends please dont go only on the appearance here because still Hindi Media is way more richer in content and more over they are more accountable to Indian public as they are read by masses. Utilmately it is papers lile Punjab Kesari who have shown the true power of 'pen' and 'words'.
So i m in a fix now as to what paper i should tell my hawker to fetch me tommorow onwards. I guess The Hindu is still with some decent level of reporting left so that becomes my only option. Bye Bye HT so long!
I'll miss calvin and hobbes though but i dont have to be emotional its time to say good bye to my favourite cartoon strip of all times. Oh barkha why u have to do this! And Vir i liked you because of your food and travel articles, i guess now you will be limited to them for some more time to come.
Till then Karan Thapar would be just fine and Prabhu chawla i like your sense of humor but that doesnt mean i will take your views for granted. My eyes are on you!
I think i gotta see more of 'Lie to Me' episodes so that i can catch you jerks!
She has not taken the responsibilty and instead termed this episode as an 'error of judgement' which i think is a very weak argument in the lieu of the extent of the damage done to the whole profession. Journalists work through their entire life for compromising remuneration( earliar though the story has changed now) to build a credibility.
Imagine a reporter without credibility or trust value, will you read what he or she writes and make an opinion out of that!
I dont proclaim that one should have an holier than thou attitude while approaching work but still there are some ethics which are to be maintained. Robin hood of ancient times was not a hypocite when he used trickery and voilence to teach some manners to rich and profess soft heartedness to poor. He had a different kind of work ethics which suited to his whole purpose. Also one should not be judging him for his life style. This is the major flaw here because we either strictly follow a code or just completely ignore it. You see morality cannot be deifned in black and white, there is some gray attached to it. Same follows with different leaders and their approaches- see for eg. shashri ji used to wear old shirt inside a nice jacket not because he had none just because he would say to her wife that it didnt matter how i look when i serve my position. Gandhi ji just like any other simple young man had himself find in the places of conflict when he had to choose between various forms of morality. Some he did fail while doing so but he corrected them via accepting them blatantly by writing a whole book about it- My Experiments with Truth.
My sole objective here is to identify with the need now for Vir Sanghvi and Barkha to simply take responsibility of their actions and do the needful to convince masses like us who are still take their words for granted! I still remember how we used to take HT's editorial stuff directly into debate matter in school for academics. Now if i get to know that its principal columnist Vir Sanghvi is biased and a political lobbiyst, i just feel cheated and my buddies would want to meet him personally to shower garlands on him!
Another thing here is that 'English Media' over the years has grown into our times because we have a perception that their presentation is professional and cool, but my friends please dont go only on the appearance here because still Hindi Media is way more richer in content and more over they are more accountable to Indian public as they are read by masses. Utilmately it is papers lile Punjab Kesari who have shown the true power of 'pen' and 'words'.
So i m in a fix now as to what paper i should tell my hawker to fetch me tommorow onwards. I guess The Hindu is still with some decent level of reporting left so that becomes my only option. Bye Bye HT so long!
I'll miss calvin and hobbes though but i dont have to be emotional its time to say good bye to my favourite cartoon strip of all times. Oh barkha why u have to do this! And Vir i liked you because of your food and travel articles, i guess now you will be limited to them for some more time to come.
Till then Karan Thapar would be just fine and Prabhu chawla i like your sense of humor but that doesnt mean i will take your views for granted. My eyes are on you!
I think i gotta see more of 'Lie to Me' episodes so that i can catch you jerks!
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Crazy, fun and idosyncratic
Tim Roth immediately caught my attention after i saw 'Reservior Dogs' . He played the mole from police department whose assignment was to live among the cold blodded criminals and get the evidence of the crimes. Seriously story wasnt that catching but as the movie started with conversations which were witty and humurous, i was bit attached to the whole things untill it ended and when it was over i wanted even more of it. Immediately after the movie i visted imdb site for more info about the casts. Tim Roth was very intellegent actor there as he had to reveal multiple accents and fake stories to get other criminals convinced about his motives.
Later when i had almost forgotten him again he greatly lived up to the small but impressive role in pulp fiction. He mostly plays the intellegent, sharp, mad and chaotic guy who derives fun by witty sarcasms. Again i had not seen much of him till the time i saw hulk 2 but it was more of action movie which i think underutilised his acting capabilities.
The British actor has quoted in an interview-" I've never really played a goody in the traditional sense. Anyway, I don't think that I look the part of a heroic character, especially not in Hollywood, so they never really come up. On a childish level, villains are just more fun."
This thing makes me more inclined to see more of his work. In the later part of his career in order to spend more time with his teenage kids he had decided to move to telly shows and his character in 'Lie to me" again recommended by the serious fan of the show , made me to find out more about Dr. Cal Lightman. The show has serious ratings and rave reviews. To my utter dissapointment i didnt find the channel in my TV but that doesnt becomes the reason to let go of a show of this kind. You tube comes to my rescue and already its on my downloading list.
So is this worth the bandwidth time spent for downloading?
Answer is plain and simple- a big YES!
I mean here you get a matured Tim Roth with his refined conversational skills of his younger age performances. Though my buddy has personally fallen for him i coudnt the reason why it would not happen!
Later when i had almost forgotten him again he greatly lived up to the small but impressive role in pulp fiction. He mostly plays the intellegent, sharp, mad and chaotic guy who derives fun by witty sarcasms. Again i had not seen much of him till the time i saw hulk 2 but it was more of action movie which i think underutilised his acting capabilities.
The British actor has quoted in an interview-" I've never really played a goody in the traditional sense. Anyway, I don't think that I look the part of a heroic character, especially not in Hollywood, so they never really come up. On a childish level, villains are just more fun."
This thing makes me more inclined to see more of his work. In the later part of his career in order to spend more time with his teenage kids he had decided to move to telly shows and his character in 'Lie to me" again recommended by the serious fan of the show , made me to find out more about Dr. Cal Lightman. The show has serious ratings and rave reviews. To my utter dissapointment i didnt find the channel in my TV but that doesnt becomes the reason to let go of a show of this kind. You tube comes to my rescue and already its on my downloading list.
So is this worth the bandwidth time spent for downloading?
Answer is plain and simple- a big YES!
I mean here you get a matured Tim Roth with his refined conversational skills of his younger age performances. Though my buddy has personally fallen for him i coudnt the reason why it would not happen!
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
What is it all about.....
TLC( Travelling and living channel) is taking most of my time these days. Man Vs Food and MasterChef are great entertaining shows. I am really jealous of the guy who is moving along middle east for travelling. Some NDTV good times show i guess its name is the Highway ka zaika something with two guys is awesome. Radiohead when plays super cool beats, i just couldnt resist listening to kishore kumar when i am driving. Nice relaxing days, wish these things are necessary for survival inside home. What happens to a guy who casually likes to roam around about 60 kms every day after the the work is over! It becomes tough. However i am enjoying the attention of the family after so much of running around for years now. Change in itself is a sublte process for me as i like to take a pause in between just to track my progress.
But here something which i have to admit when a friend told me that i am not a superman! Its bit cliched thing to say but i first had a laugh and then he asked me to seriously think about it. Its was necessary for me to pay heed to him. Ya he's true. We later had a nice discussion about it and we realised that last few years when everything was happening at a pace we had actually lost into it. Now when all that pace and things have reduced its bit overbearing on the self to demand more hmmm.... fun.
So its all about lay back, relaxing and having some happy family time. Gotta learn it and give back fast!
But here something which i have to admit when a friend told me that i am not a superman! Its bit cliched thing to say but i first had a laugh and then he asked me to seriously think about it. Its was necessary for me to pay heed to him. Ya he's true. We later had a nice discussion about it and we realised that last few years when everything was happening at a pace we had actually lost into it. Now when all that pace and things have reduced its bit overbearing on the self to demand more hmmm.... fun.
So its all about lay back, relaxing and having some happy family time. Gotta learn it and give back fast!
Friday, November 26, 2010
Wierd Fishes - RadioHead
In the deepest ocean
The bottom of the sea
Your eyes
They turn me
Why should i stay here?
Why should i stay?
I'd be crazy not to follow
Follow where you lead
Your eyes
They turn me
Turn me on to phantoms
I follow to the edge of the earth
And fall off
Yeah, everybody leaves
If they get the chance
And this is my chance
I get eaten by the worms
And weird fishes
Picked over by the worms
And weird fishes
Weird fishes
Weird fishes
I hit the bottom
Hit the bottom and escape
I hit the bottom
Hit the bottom to escape
Escape
The bottom of the sea
Your eyes
They turn me
Why should i stay here?
Why should i stay?
I'd be crazy not to follow
Follow where you lead
Your eyes
They turn me
Turn me on to phantoms
I follow to the edge of the earth
And fall off
Yeah, everybody leaves
If they get the chance
And this is my chance
I get eaten by the worms
And weird fishes
Picked over by the worms
And weird fishes
Weird fishes
Weird fishes
I hit the bottom
Hit the bottom and escape
I hit the bottom
Hit the bottom to escape
Escape
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Creep- Radiohead
When you were here before,
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel,
Your skin makes me cry
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so fuckin' special
But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here
I don't care if it hurts,
I wanna have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice
when I'm not around
You're so fuckin' special
I wish I was special
But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here, ohhhh, ohhhh
She's running out again
She's running out
She run run run run...
run... run...
Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so fuckin' special
I wish I was special
But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here
I don't belong here...
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel,
Your skin makes me cry
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so fuckin' special
But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here
I don't care if it hurts,
I wanna have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice
when I'm not around
You're so fuckin' special
I wish I was special
But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here, ohhhh, ohhhh
She's running out again
She's running out
She run run run run...
run... run...
Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so fuckin' special
I wish I was special
But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here
I don't belong here...
Friday, November 19, 2010
Monday, November 15, 2010
Is not Funny huh!!!
I am running....hard....sweating profusly.....along the boundary of the football ground manuevering the ball just along the edge of it so that i dont make a false to give advantage to the opposition. I slid the ball the centre half bloke who's come quite forward now. He's accosted by two heavily built defenders. He passes it on to his left who's just about the corner. I take a relief because he is my best bet, my best mate and ya the captain of the team. Now what he too is blocked. Now is the moment. I shout his name with a slang and it works as a icing on the cake. He's in deep shit and look who he will count on- Me.
Nay! He passes the ball backwards. I almost choke myself with so many words coming out at the same time that the outcome was just gibberish.
Now the ball is with our rock solid defence guy and he maneverers with the opposition so easily as if doing a tango with his girl and guess what he shoots the ball so hard that it crosses half a dozen dumbasses to make them look so timid and helpless to see a very accurate pass to ME.
I am just near the goal and all the eyes are on me. In the audiences dudes are shouting my pet name- DOGA. Yes DOGA-DOGA-DOGA!!!
By the way DOGA is the famous comics character with face of what a doberman! Its quite relevant observation you see because of my unsual connection with dogs.
Now where was I. Ya near the goal and people shouting my name. Its ringing bells for me. Now or never. One goal and the team will be through thats the plan. Quite unlike i hold back my laugh with the infamous scene fo chak de India shahrukh's tip. Its quite stupid naturally!
My eyes met with the goalkeeper. He's my enemy; i recall. If i go near the D area. He surely will punch me the chest. I have to take the chances from a distance. This is the only plan.
I take a shoot, very hard, I mean with all i have got. I feel the thump in my thigh when i do it.
The football perfectly glides in the air with a slight inswing and passing the goalkeeper. Yes i rejoice in my mind.
Ball hits the goal but to my utter disbelief it hits the goal post instead!!!! What the heck!
It rebounds and there came the saviour- Chetan Pare. He pushes the ball back into the goal.
Its a GOAL!!!
People hold him up and i feel proud that like always chetan completes my undone things into completion!!!
My sweat begins to evapourate and cools me infinitely. Suddenly the humid hot weather turns into a winter breezed type for me. My Enemy and Goalkeeper of opposition later explains me in the washroom that this is what we call sexy football thing. So we shook hands, only to see for the next match tommorow!
Later in the night i recite following lines-
Just because I'm losing
Doesn't mean I'm lost
Doesn't mean I'll stop
Doesn't mean I'm across
Just because I'm hurting
Doesn't mean I'm hurt
Doesn't mean I didn't get what I deserved
No better and no worse
I just got lost!
Every river that I tried to cross
Every door I ever tried was locked
Oh and I'm just waiting til the shine wears off
You might be a big fish
In a little pond
Doesn't mean you've won
'Cause along may come
A bigger one
And you'll be lost!
Every river that you tried to cross
Every gun you ever held went off
Oh and I'm just waiting til the firing's stopped
Oh and I'm just waiting til the shine wears off
Nay! He passes the ball backwards. I almost choke myself with so many words coming out at the same time that the outcome was just gibberish.
Now the ball is with our rock solid defence guy and he maneverers with the opposition so easily as if doing a tango with his girl and guess what he shoots the ball so hard that it crosses half a dozen dumbasses to make them look so timid and helpless to see a very accurate pass to ME.
I am just near the goal and all the eyes are on me. In the audiences dudes are shouting my pet name- DOGA. Yes DOGA-DOGA-DOGA!!!
By the way DOGA is the famous comics character with face of what a doberman! Its quite relevant observation you see because of my unsual connection with dogs.
Now where was I. Ya near the goal and people shouting my name. Its ringing bells for me. Now or never. One goal and the team will be through thats the plan. Quite unlike i hold back my laugh with the infamous scene fo chak de India shahrukh's tip. Its quite stupid naturally!
My eyes met with the goalkeeper. He's my enemy; i recall. If i go near the D area. He surely will punch me the chest. I have to take the chances from a distance. This is the only plan.
I take a shoot, very hard, I mean with all i have got. I feel the thump in my thigh when i do it.
The football perfectly glides in the air with a slight inswing and passing the goalkeeper. Yes i rejoice in my mind.
Ball hits the goal but to my utter disbelief it hits the goal post instead!!!! What the heck!
It rebounds and there came the saviour- Chetan Pare. He pushes the ball back into the goal.
Its a GOAL!!!
People hold him up and i feel proud that like always chetan completes my undone things into completion!!!
My sweat begins to evapourate and cools me infinitely. Suddenly the humid hot weather turns into a winter breezed type for me. My Enemy and Goalkeeper of opposition later explains me in the washroom that this is what we call sexy football thing. So we shook hands, only to see for the next match tommorow!
Later in the night i recite following lines-
Just because I'm losing
Doesn't mean I'm lost
Doesn't mean I'll stop
Doesn't mean I'm across
Just because I'm hurting
Doesn't mean I'm hurt
Doesn't mean I didn't get what I deserved
No better and no worse
I just got lost!
Every river that I tried to cross
Every door I ever tried was locked
Oh and I'm just waiting til the shine wears off
You might be a big fish
In a little pond
Doesn't mean you've won
'Cause along may come
A bigger one
And you'll be lost!
Every river that you tried to cross
Every gun you ever held went off
Oh and I'm just waiting til the firing's stopped
Oh and I'm just waiting til the shine wears off
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Confidence and Choco-MilkShake
Some time ago, i thought i could never write poems. Now when i do it i feel how does time gets you to do things which you might not even have a clue about. In a fraction of second i can get myself sitting under a tree and having that chocolate milkshake.
"There is a very thin line seperating confidence and stupidity. Act with patience and reason." I know this was what my hindi teacher told me once when i would sprung up upon anything asked in the class just to make my presence known. I did not gave a heed to the advice and took it as a compliment instead!
Years later i know i went in a barmuda to give an interview for campus interviews. My peer group was happy and i too thought it was cool. I was clearly a schumk! lol
Just one year later i found myself packed in a stupid executive suit for 2 years and that made me think about burmuda episode. Time is an intellegent and harsh teacher. It makes us grow older than our biological age.
What more... i just badly need that chocoshake shake. Seriously i never thought that i would have to long for a chocoshake for 8 months-2 hours and still counting...
Irony of life has a very dry sense of humor and i want to shout hard that i dont like its stupid jokes.
"There is a very thin line seperating confidence and stupidity. Act with patience and reason." I know this was what my hindi teacher told me once when i would sprung up upon anything asked in the class just to make my presence known. I did not gave a heed to the advice and took it as a compliment instead!
Years later i know i went in a barmuda to give an interview for campus interviews. My peer group was happy and i too thought it was cool. I was clearly a schumk! lol
Just one year later i found myself packed in a stupid executive suit for 2 years and that made me think about burmuda episode. Time is an intellegent and harsh teacher. It makes us grow older than our biological age.
What more... i just badly need that chocoshake shake. Seriously i never thought that i would have to long for a chocoshake for 8 months-2 hours and still counting...
Irony of life has a very dry sense of humor and i want to shout hard that i dont like its stupid jokes.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
The way you look right now....
I dream on..and then i wake up and i find your eyes infront of me. I look them inside, the patterns and circles;i dont want to look around ; i just want to wallow in that ocean. Then i notice birds chirping, warm afternoon after a cool night and we are sitting in the field. Tall grasses but i can see huge mountains at some distance. I look up in the sky and its blue ya... hazy blue!
Again i see you and you are gone... poof! Just like that. I am baffled but not panicking and console myself that you may be here some where.
Where are you?
Beside that tree. I call your name and tell you to not play games with me. But i cant hear you. Then i stand up and try to get a glipmse of yours.
What is this place. Where i am? I look at my hands and then at my palms. They seem to be alright.
Why i am all blue. This shirt is mine.. Is it? Ya its mine , i recall.
There there is this very warm wind that falls on my face and now i am totally confused. Just like the way i feel before i jump of a cliff or press the throttle in order to get more wind.
I just want to see you. Then i hear you laughing. Ya that muffled voice as if you are trying hard to not to make a noise. I run in that direction but i am not getting tired and i see myself running very hard as if it is for life.
Suddenly i hear your voice all around me and i close my ears hard with my hands. But i am still hearing them. And i remember that i am shouting as hard as i could but all i hear is you. There no escape.
I close my eyes and try to concentrate to be in senses and after some time those voices go off. But when i open the eyes i see you. And you innocently ask me "what happened?"
" Are you okay?"
I dont say a word and hold you so tight than ever.
And you say" Rahul you are hurting me?"
I say after losing my grip
" You know the way you look right now and the way i am looking at you, i want this to stay like this forever. "
And i hold you back in my arms and i remember calmness , not a sound. I dont know how long i have been like this.
Then i wake up suddenly and i find myself in my bed. Its dark and 3'o clock in night says my watch!
And i dont feel like sleeping again so i take a round and get on my study table to remind me of Rahul Sharma and what all he did, his bravery and goals. He's is my hero and good thing is that I am him!
Again i see you and you are gone... poof! Just like that. I am baffled but not panicking and console myself that you may be here some where.
Where are you?
Beside that tree. I call your name and tell you to not play games with me. But i cant hear you. Then i stand up and try to get a glipmse of yours.
What is this place. Where i am? I look at my hands and then at my palms. They seem to be alright.
Why i am all blue. This shirt is mine.. Is it? Ya its mine , i recall.
There there is this very warm wind that falls on my face and now i am totally confused. Just like the way i feel before i jump of a cliff or press the throttle in order to get more wind.
I just want to see you. Then i hear you laughing. Ya that muffled voice as if you are trying hard to not to make a noise. I run in that direction but i am not getting tired and i see myself running very hard as if it is for life.
Suddenly i hear your voice all around me and i close my ears hard with my hands. But i am still hearing them. And i remember that i am shouting as hard as i could but all i hear is you. There no escape.
I close my eyes and try to concentrate to be in senses and after some time those voices go off. But when i open the eyes i see you. And you innocently ask me "what happened?"
" Are you okay?"
I dont say a word and hold you so tight than ever.
And you say" Rahul you are hurting me?"
I say after losing my grip
" You know the way you look right now and the way i am looking at you, i want this to stay like this forever. "
And i hold you back in my arms and i remember calmness , not a sound. I dont know how long i have been like this.
Then i wake up suddenly and i find myself in my bed. Its dark and 3'o clock in night says my watch!
And i dont feel like sleeping again so i take a round and get on my study table to remind me of Rahul Sharma and what all he did, his bravery and goals. He's is my hero and good thing is that I am him!
Sunday, November 7, 2010
What should be the quality of Life?
Its not redundancy to think about this question as its something we all strive to answer if not now then may be at some other point of time. Seeing is believing but i always remind my self to be in me and not to compromise anything of my ideology over materialistic goals. Life must have a quality even if its purpose is being unattached. Most important are the people who are close to you and give you unconditional love. Of course our priorties are endowed upon them.
Also equally importatant if not less are strangers and i must try to give some value to them. If i could make even one good thing to add quality to their moment they spend with me it would just suffice. They wont even know that i know them for some reasons and touchwood they are still good. Its something i wont be able to tell them just because how it could be communicated. The ephimeral relationship with each person is very distant but they are still intense for me. Even if i try to be most direct and surprsing to them sometimes still there will be a lot more to talk about it. The challange is to understand the unsaid or read between the lines.
So here i am with a caricature of my self when i shake a hand or share a glance. How many times it has happened that i may have not talked with a person for days though i secretly think about them inspite of their first impression of me. Then suddenly i pop up with a very personal question to them or burst out with a intimate laughter or become playful with an observation of mine which i do all the time. They become suprised and that is my price, the best gift.
But what if its about a person whom i think is the only island i live in. That soul is my entire land. Its quite like a rainbow at the same time when its raining!
That is what we call the best quality of life!
Also equally importatant if not less are strangers and i must try to give some value to them. If i could make even one good thing to add quality to their moment they spend with me it would just suffice. They wont even know that i know them for some reasons and touchwood they are still good. Its something i wont be able to tell them just because how it could be communicated. The ephimeral relationship with each person is very distant but they are still intense for me. Even if i try to be most direct and surprsing to them sometimes still there will be a lot more to talk about it. The challange is to understand the unsaid or read between the lines.
So here i am with a caricature of my self when i shake a hand or share a glance. How many times it has happened that i may have not talked with a person for days though i secretly think about them inspite of their first impression of me. Then suddenly i pop up with a very personal question to them or burst out with a intimate laughter or become playful with an observation of mine which i do all the time. They become suprised and that is my price, the best gift.
But what if its about a person whom i think is the only island i live in. That soul is my entire land. Its quite like a rainbow at the same time when its raining!
That is what we call the best quality of life!
Friday, November 5, 2010
Some days have that Intrinsic goodness- Diwali
Its light all around. Diwali frenzie has caught the city in its best way possible. Lights blue, yellow, green , red and ya white too. All of us and them are seemingly very involved in its goodness. Admist all this happiness no sane soul would try and showcase his or her inner lonliness and its shoudnt be done that way. We must try to let go because its a day we should share happiness and only happiness. So its a new day and somehow for me marks the beginning of a new year.
Its very strange that when we are happy we see all the things that way and believe all the things are good that way.
happy diwali
Its very strange that when we are happy we see all the things that way and believe all the things are good that way.
happy diwali
Sunday, October 31, 2010
COme BaCk to HaUnT Me
Hey honnie these days i imagine this way that i am somewhere fighting on a front and back home you are waiting for me. Whenever i feel dizzy or sometimes confused or puzzled i take your hankercheif from my coat and have good view of it. Then and only then i become calm and relaxed. WHEN THE TRUTH IS 'I MISS YOU'.
Baby oh sweet honey, you are my life.
A warning sign,
I missed the good part then I realized,
I started looking and the bubble burst.
I started looking for excuses.
Come on in,
I've gotta tell you what a state I'm in,
I've gotta tell you in my loudest tones,
That I started looking for a warning sign.
When the truth is,
I miss you.
Yeah the truth is,
That I miss you so.
A warning sign,
You came back to haunt me and I realized
you were an island and I passed you by,
You were an island to discover.
Come on in,
I've gotta tell you what state I'm in,
I've gotta tell you in my loudest tones,
That I started looking for a warning sign.
When the truth is,
I miss you.
Yeah the truth is,
That I miss you so.
And I'm tired,
I should not have let you go.
So I crawl back into your open arms.
Yes, I crawl back into your open arms.
And I crawl back into your open arms.
Yes, I crawl back into your open arms...
Baby oh sweet honey, you are my life.
A warning sign,
I missed the good part then I realized,
I started looking and the bubble burst.
I started looking for excuses.
Come on in,
I've gotta tell you what a state I'm in,
I've gotta tell you in my loudest tones,
That I started looking for a warning sign.
When the truth is,
I miss you.
Yeah the truth is,
That I miss you so.
A warning sign,
You came back to haunt me and I realized
you were an island and I passed you by,
You were an island to discover.
Come on in,
I've gotta tell you what state I'm in,
I've gotta tell you in my loudest tones,
That I started looking for a warning sign.
When the truth is,
I miss you.
Yeah the truth is,
That I miss you so.
And I'm tired,
I should not have let you go.
So I crawl back into your open arms.
Yes, I crawl back into your open arms.
And I crawl back into your open arms.
Yes, I crawl back into your open arms...
Saturday, October 30, 2010
i will fix you
When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse
And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
Tears stream down on your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down on your face
And on your face I...
Tears stream down on your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down on your face
And on your face I...
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse
And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
Tears stream down on your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down on your face
And on your face I...
Tears stream down on your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down on your face
And on your face I...
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
Friday, October 29, 2010
Back to the start
Come up to meet you, Tell you I’m sorry, You don’t know how lovely you are
I had to find you, Tell you I need you, Tell you I set you apart
Tell me your secrets, And ask me your questions, Aww let’s go back to the start
Nobody said it was easy
It’s such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Aww take me back to the start
I was just guessin’, At numbers and figures, Pullin’ the puzzles apart
Questions of science, Science and progress, Do not speak as loud as my heart
Tell me you love me, Come back to haunt me, Oh when I rush to the start
Runnin’ in circles, [sounds like] Chasin’ our tails, Comin’ back as we are
Nobody said it was easy
Aww It’s such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
I’m goin’ back to the start
I had to find you, Tell you I need you, Tell you I set you apart
Tell me your secrets, And ask me your questions, Aww let’s go back to the start
Nobody said it was easy
It’s such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Aww take me back to the start
I was just guessin’, At numbers and figures, Pullin’ the puzzles apart
Questions of science, Science and progress, Do not speak as loud as my heart
Tell me you love me, Come back to haunt me, Oh when I rush to the start
Runnin’ in circles, [sounds like] Chasin’ our tails, Comin’ back as we are
Nobody said it was easy
Aww It’s such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
I’m goin’ back to the start
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
prayer
They say when you discreetly say prayer into the ears of 'nandi' lovely disciple of Shiva it gets fullfilled. So i say this
" baby its long long time i saw you though i live with you every moment. Kid i love you. Such a long time and i cant stop running towards you. Can you hear my heart beating? Can you hear that sound. Because i cant stop thinking and i cant stoo. And i look at the sky and saw the sun and the way gravity pushes on you and me towards each other. Baby when you stop and feel lonley i wanted to be with you in your bad and good times. I hear your heart beat yesterday when my mom was worshipping moon. I nearly skipped couple of mine too.
Baby ......
God help me to get closer to my dreams and not only closely like you did before but this time i want to live them. I dont want them but i need them badly.
Please baby forgive me because i couldnt be with you when you were so lonely. But baby i did so much and still ... but i was always there for you and so were you i know..
God give me valor, Give me patience like you did gave it to my lovely girl. Make her happy. Make her smile when she thinks about me. Dont make her fret over what is now...
Give her lots of courage and your divine insight when she needs a good advice.
God she has lots of faith in you; you know it. Its because of her i have more faith in you. She is inspiration to me. Give her respect she righty deserves. Give her recognisation which is still due.
Give her your own love so that she will stay so.
This is it:"
" baby its long long time i saw you though i live with you every moment. Kid i love you. Such a long time and i cant stop running towards you. Can you hear my heart beating? Can you hear that sound. Because i cant stop thinking and i cant stoo. And i look at the sky and saw the sun and the way gravity pushes on you and me towards each other. Baby when you stop and feel lonley i wanted to be with you in your bad and good times. I hear your heart beat yesterday when my mom was worshipping moon. I nearly skipped couple of mine too.
Baby ......
God help me to get closer to my dreams and not only closely like you did before but this time i want to live them. I dont want them but i need them badly.
Please baby forgive me because i couldnt be with you when you were so lonely. But baby i did so much and still ... but i was always there for you and so were you i know..
God give me valor, Give me patience like you did gave it to my lovely girl. Make her happy. Make her smile when she thinks about me. Dont make her fret over what is now...
Give her lots of courage and your divine insight when she needs a good advice.
God she has lots of faith in you; you know it. Its because of her i have more faith in you. She is inspiration to me. Give her respect she righty deserves. Give her recognisation which is still due.
Give her your own love so that she will stay so.
This is it:"
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