Its almost like prying into deep and hollow spaces of tender cores of your heart. Deep recesses of simple beats sometimes too difficult to read. I try to hear you with patience and after some initial frustations i start to hear them- pure, crytal and clear. Your heart beats- dig.... dig.... dig.... dig... thumping all the time ringing for me and i know that.
You might say how do i know it or you might think that i am crazy as this is not the way to reciprocate to me. Dont think that its that simple a phenomenon that we've got into. Even i dont know how many time a day do i talk to you. Asking small things from you, telling every thing i do, making my presence known to you, confessing my love to you all the time.
And you do the same no matter now just to irritate me you will say "'nay' i dont do that"
I also heard you saying last night that you have given a thought about me and have left it on just the time and how it decides for us. I just couldnt agree more.
It sometimes pains me that i dont know what you might be thinking right now as you are reading things or to be true whether you are reading this. No sign at all. But i would just hope otherwise.
Never before did i felt such longing for a person as i felt for you. I tried to convince myself whenever that it really doesnt matter how are you reacting now; may be its not the right time. Well those are the things of yore now and i dont like to think about them.
All i want to do is to think the other way; the way i think we should have spent time now much closer to each other. I am not lament of what is lost nor i am trying to live for future but as people say its best to say in the present; what is good about present when it doesnt have you in person like the way i wanted and the way you wanted me.
You have in numerous ways have revealed your love for me and i almost all the time had sensed that. But understand me; i have inspite of understanding your verbal or non verbal cues, didnt spoke a word about it. Every time i talked to you,for the first time in life i realised that i can also love someone like i have loved you and will love you forever for that.
That soft and panicky side of myself i had never seen before. I had never felf a feeling of fear never before in my life.
You brought rainbow in my blue sky and have always tried to be your moon. Its truth that i tried but my direct ways had sometimes hurt you and believe me it hurts me too that way.
So what does this silence entails?
Its a question i dont want an answer now and may be i wish that i dont read what i do write ever again beacause these words would remind be of time when i am shackled with what they say is 'i dont know the word'.
Nor i would waste my time thereupon to know why this time; this very moment has lost, not i would try to understand the plausibility of this pain inflicted on us. Nor i would think about unthinkable distance of yours from me.
But i know one thing if its written that you are to be with me then no one can change this not ever time and also if that is not written i ll make sure that i write it. And that is not new for me to do.
Good luck
sweeet honey moonmun! haah.
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