Love

The journey which started way back quite a time ago has made me understand a new dimention. I crave for you every second even since i dont know and i surely know deep inside that you must also be feeling the same if not less. But in my quest to understand what has been happening to me all this time was all the way very important to me. First what i did i thought it was immaturish and i also regretted my actions as that was not me. That signifies that i actually have not known me all this time. I was trying to find you outside. In your book, its pages your words, bits and pieces of memories.
Sometimes i would think how can i be sure that i am really craving you? This is an important question for me and it has to be answered by the self.

I am human and my humane acts to find you reminded me of that fact.I used to search you on the streets and that was stage I. Then i wanted to hear you;see your image and feel you. That was stage II.
All this was ruthless and was inapporpriate for answering my question. What should i do?

I plunged myself in to travelling wide spaces alone and think while i drive as i solve most of things while doing it. Never really got the answer but some times i used to get close.
Then i began reading non-fictions, mythology and philosophies. They were of somehelp in the way that i should really reflect upon my self even more. I should understand me first.

Then i began to try hard to calm down by closing eyes and i must tell you its most difficult thing to do. I tried first for some minutes and then an hour and still i am no where.

I knew i was losing time and it has to be done as soon as possible. Then i read all 119 posts i had written to you one by one, word by word, letter by letter.

When i write to you i never read it back but today i did and the answer was between the lines. Then i sit back quitely an hour or so and relaxed in the void.

I found you inside and i didnt find you, i found a feeling which reminded me of you. It was very subtle and i became happy.