I Just Went Against The Grain

"Why is that you are behaving differently today?"
"Things have changed now. I have been through a lot during this last few days and that has changed things."
"Please dont say that? Everything will be ok. Its jsut that few things arent in our hands and all that we can do is to wait and see things happen."
"Who said that?"
" I donno"
" I dont give a shit to all that not-in-control kinda things. And i dont think we should talk about it. Its just that in my imagination i just got off the track and thought something which could never be materialised."
" hmmm..."
" See i once cared about a lot of things. I mean i even thought that something like love exists. And like those in the books ; i too got u know wavy kind. Undulated between schrizophrenic roles of my stupid self. That self inflicted disease i got from you was full of emotions and was pious to me. I got changed. I cared."
" Look.."
" wait. listen this first. Those days when i was in the pain; Where were you?Couldnt you say everything was ok then. I vegetated merely. "
" I was ... i m sorry"
" No you shudnt be. In fact i must thank you. Your comapany, though colourful in the start but hazy in the end, got me a learning of my life.
There isnt any thing called pure emotions in this world. All that it is ; is a big joke.
Even if they exist, they are in the mind, but they are for others. Not for me. Sorry "

"Now still i would say i love u. Cos it cant change, though things have changed now but that 'phase' cant be forgotten when i was supposedly in 'love'.